I’m Hating Now Black Women Having The ‘hair’ Talk With Me (2025)

vevster said:

It always boils down to “is that your natural hair?” Uh, yes it is........... or “what’s in it?” just color..........
“How you get your hair like that?

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Women at work have asked me how I got my hair like that. I tell them. I washed it and then I put some moisturizer in it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

OhTall1 said:

Meh, if BW ask me about my natural hair, I'm more than happy to answer their questions or tell them what I use. And I'm not shy about asking BW about their hair either.

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I agree. I think that it's beautiful actually that black women are eager to learn more about healthy hair practices and about how to achieve a moisturized, soft look with their natural hair. Whatever little I know, I'd be more than happy to share.

OhTall1 said:

Meh, if BW ask me about my natural hair, I'm more than happy to answer their questions or tell them what I use. And I'm not shy about asking BW about their hair either.

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Same. If a black woman asks me I am more than happy to tell them. What I find more annoying are the black women spouting basic hair care tips at me when I haven't asked just because they watched a 3o second video on instagram. Example: "Your hair looks pretty. Make sure you're moisturizing it. S curl is good. I saw a video on instagram where a girl used it and her hair looked so soft and shiny." This was just a random lady sitting next to me on the train. I said thanks and went back to my book.

Alma Petra said:

I agree. I think that it's beautiful actually that black women are eager to learn more about healthy hair practices and about how to achieve a moisturized, soft look with their natural hair. Whatever little I know, I'd be more than happy to share.

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Sometime I feel it is catty. Like I put ‘something’ in it and don’t want to say.

KammyGirl said:

Same. If a black woman asks me I am more than happy to tell them. What I find more annoying are the black women spouting basic hair care tips at me when I haven't asked just because they watched a 3o second video on instagram. Example: "Your hair looks pretty. Make sure you're moisturizing it. S curl is good. I saw a video on instagram where a girl used it and her hair looked so soft and shiny." This was just a random lady sitting next to me on the train. I said thanks and went back to my book.

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That is what happened yesterday. I don’t need your advice kwim?

vevster said:

Sometime I feel it is catty. Like I put ‘something’ in it and don’t want to say.

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I don’t have a problem speaking with other BW about hair; I love it actually. I will help and exchange tips and advice when I can.

What I do have a problem with is people, BW especially, questioning my texture and how I have length. As if I took a secret potion and voila! Long hair with slightly loose curls and waves too. I posted a picture of my length check on FB recently and got DMs about what’s my secret. I’ve met women in real life like this too. These are the people I don’t waste my breathe on.

vevster said:

Sometime I feel it is catty. Like I put ‘something’ in it and don’t want to say.

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Hmmm yes some people are not truly trying to learn from you. They are simply trying to make you feel bad by suggesting that your hair might be fake or be chemically modified but you are being dishonest about it. So rude..

vevster said:

Sometime I feel it is catty. Like I put ‘something’ in it and don’t want to say.

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Thats what I used to get with my wash and go. It makes me suspicious. I answer with my favs and thats it.

I have a former close friend til the day if we run into each other that will say, you got some "good hair" I couldn't go natural. Im a fine, easily tangled, hi-po so I'm always battling dryness 4a-ish. Folks be tripping.

OhTall1 said:

Meh, if BW ask me about my natural hair, I'm more than happy to answer their questions or tell them what I use. And I'm not shy about asking BW about their hair either.

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Alma Petra said:

I agree. I think that it's beautiful actually that black women are eager to learn more about healthy hair practices and about how to achieve a moisturized, soft look with their natural hair. Whatever little I know, I'd be more than happy to share.

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Same

intellectualuva said:

Thats what I used to get with my wash and go. It makes me suspicious. I answer with my favs and thats it.

I have a former close friend til the day if we run into each other that will say, you got some "good hair" I couldn't go natural. Im a fine, easily tangled, hi-po so I'm always battling dryness 4a-ish. Folks be tripping.

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Same here. I was told I had bad hair and that I should never go natural. Well I did anyway. Now I have “good” hair because my natural hair texture is looser than expected and my hair is healthy.

I get where you're coming from. I always get excited but sometimes I get a look like I'm lying when I'm asked how do I get my hair to look like it does.

I go with the flow, either I'm gushing or I'm one worded answers , lol.

Saludable84 said:

I don’t have a problem speaking with other BW about hair; I love it actually. I will help and exchange tips and advice when I can.

What I do have a problem with is people, BW especially, questioning my texture and how I have length. As if I took a secret potion and voila! Long hair with slightly loose curls and waves too. I posted a picture of my length check on FB recently and got DMs about what’s my secret. I’ve met women in real life like this too. These are the people I don’t waste my breathe on.

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I think sometimes people really are looking for that one thing, that one piece of advice they haven’t gotten yet, that will finally help them with their hair. They may feel like they’ve tried everything and just can’t pass up the opportunity, when they see someone with beautiful hair, to maybe, hopefully hear the magic words that will get their hair to where hers is. Unfortunately there is no one thing for everyone, we’re all different, and the one thing that does seem to work (besides pure genetics) is consistency and patience. I guess that’s two things.

I look forward to being asked about my hair from black women. I'll even let them weave check while I tell them all about my journey.

To bad I only been getting weave checked by older wyt men. I KIM...

caribeandiva said:

Same here. I was told I had bad hair and that I should never go natural. Well I did anyway. Now I have “good” hair because my natural hair texture is looser than expected and my hair is healthy.

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The nerve There is no such thing as bad hair. People can be so ugh sometimes!

The nerve There is no such thing as bad hair. People can be so ugh sometimes!

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Well all I can say is, NOTHING NEW THERE! We're only 12 years into this "going natural" thing sooo I expect to hear the "good hair" comments for at least another 12 years.

Dayjoy said:

I think sometimes people really are looking for that one thing, that one piece of advice they haven’t gotten yet, that will finally help them with their hair. They may feel like they’ve tried everything and just can’t pass up the opportunity, when they see someone with beautiful hair, to maybe, hopefully hear the magic words that will get their hair to where hers is. Unfortunately there is no one thing for everyone, we’re all different, and the one thing that does seem to work (besides pure genetics) is consistency and patience. I guess that’s two things.

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And this I get. I totally do. When I was relaxed, I wanted to know the secret, not realizing people were already telling me to put my hair up. Unfortunately, as a natural, it’s not the same response for me. Don’t get me wrong, I try my best to be encouraging, but when I get the “what do you put in your hair to make it grow?” questions, I know it’s time for me to ask for the check. I literally do nothing with my hair and people outside of this forum never believe me.